Posted by: Nice Melons | April 7, 2008

Listening to Zappa at work is very dangerous.

I spend a lot of time in front of a computer at work. I usually listen to music while I’m doing my stuff, since it keeps the old cerebral cortex tripping along. I cannot usually listen to anything orchestral that I’ve performed, since I start focusing on that music instead of my project.

 Well, it looks like today I’ve also got to cross most of my Zappa off my list, too. *Sigh*

My co-workers alerted me to my maniacal giggling over Joe’s Garage. I was reviewing a bunch of bills that are currently in session and “The Central Scrutinizer” opening cut came up. For the uninitiated, Joe’s Garage is more or less about the music business… but the opening line just whacked my funny bone in a big way:

This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER…  it is my responsibility to enforce all the laws that haven’t been passed yet. It is also my responsibility to alert each and every one of you to the potential consequences of various ordinary everyday activities you might be performing which could eventually lead to The Death Penalty (or affect your parents’ credit rating). Our criminal institutions are full of little creeps like you who do wrong things…  and many of them were driven to these crimes by a horrible force called MUSIC!

Our studies have shown that this horrible force is so dangerous to society at large that laws are being drawn up at this very moment to stop it forever!  Cruel and inhuman punishments are being carefully described in tiny paragraphs so they won’t conflict with the Constitution (which, itself, is being modified in order to accommodate THE FUTURE).

I bring you now a special presentation to show what can happen to you if you choose a career in MUSIC…

The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only…if you have to load or unload, go to the WHITE ZONE… you’ll love it…it’s a way of life…Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…

I miss you, Frank… you freakin’ weirdo.  Takes one to know one, I guess.  😛


  1. Stick to Zappa’s instrumentals.

  2. That works for everything except the Ensemble Modern stuff… I still want to sing along. 😉

  3. Oh, I’ll bet that would make you verry popular with your cube-mates …

  4. Oh my yes it does.

  5. I love Zappa too, but I can’t listen to complex music while I work. I need mindless rock and roll, to go with my mindless job. Fortunately, I have an office so I can sing along to my heart’s content. These are the small pleasures in life.

  6. I have to listen to complex music while I work or I will go insane! 😀

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: