Posted by: Nice Melons | May 5, 2011

Ugh. Retail sucks.

So…  I’ve been working now for a while.  I’ve been – gasp – a cashier at a well-known market.

I am totally appalled.  People can be major assholes.  I went into this job liking people a little over a month ago.  Now, not so much.  Maybe it’s the Scottsdale demographic, but sheesh.  I am struggling to keep my balance.  Get over yourself and die of something else is all I can say… and another thing… if you are having a shitty day, don’t take it out on me, because your problems are probably not even close to mine.  Just sayin’.

Posted by: Nice Melons | March 17, 2011

Stupid winter visitors!

OK,  I’m usually pretty mellow about this since I live in a town – and a condo complex - that has a lot of “winter visitors” i.e. SNOWBIRDS, but these ones just totally take the prize. 

First, the woman who owns the place behind me is totally fudging the rules with renting.  Minimum stay is supposed to be 30 days.  HA!  She’s had a slew of morons in here these past few months and it looks like she’s been fined out the butt for this.

Now my question is, where does she FIND these people?  I mean, hell, it takes all kinds… but we live here year-round and a few of the visitors make me want to put on my super-heroine suit and shove a lightening bolt where the sun don’t shine… I’m just sayin’.

First, there was the woman with the small dog that crapped like it was a Wolfhound.  She steadfastly refused to pick up the dog crap.  I reminded her when I was taking my dogs out, and she stated, “Oh, I don’t have to do that.”  Yeah, right.  So, we just started leaving it on her porch.  She came out one day and asked what I was doing, and I told her.  She was beside herself, and I let her know that she was lucky that I didn’t 1) Put it in a bag, light it on fire, and leave it on her doorstep or 2) report her ass to the homeowner’s Nazi party.  Fortunately, she left after that for princess-land and I didn’t have to deal any longer.

So, there was a lot of traffic in that “30-day” rental over the next few weeks.  The latest takes the proverbial German Chocolate Cake.

So… this guy who looks like G. Gordon Liddy’s mini-me and his wife (who actually seems pretty nice - she likes the puppies) showed up a little less than a week ago.  He’s managed to majorly piss me within a few hours after his arrival.  First, he keeps walking around, looking at my Honda Element like it’s his… touching it, trying the door handles… you know; WEIRD.  I asked him what in the HELL he was doing and he ran away.  I don’t have Fort Knox in there, but if he was coveting the copy of my “BeeGees Greatest Hits” I would have gladly ripped a CD for him to keep him away from my freakin’ car.  Idiot.

Then my sweetheart has the dogs out for a poop.  Steve is a man of few words, but he was civil to the guy (before he heard of his weird Element-coveting behavior) and tried to say hi.  The schmuck was apparently snarky and just smirked at him and gave dirty looks to our two doggies.  Bastard.

Next, on Monday night, he’s down in the pool.  Not a big deal, but he’s there with two young boys and a woman who doesn’t appear to be his wife and they are whooping it up.  Now, I’m all for whooping.  But he was 1) there after curfew (it’s midnight and the pool closes at 10:30 PM) 2) being a loud, drunk fucker, and 3) had glass bottles all over the pool area (big no-no, broken glass + pool area = stitches, ouchies, lawsuits).  I went down and politely asked him to keep it down and he got all belligerent on me.  I maintained my calm and told him that it was fine if he wanted to act like a total asshole but that he could take it up with the PD because if he didn’t STFU in the next 30 seconds, that’s who he would be talking to.  His only defense was “well, I’m on vacation.”  Well, that’s nice that you can afford one.  But if I acted like an ass on vacay and someone pointed that out to me – especially a FT resident – I’d be embarrassed, shutting my pie-hole, and apologizing.  What a jerk.

Last, and my latest favorite, he’s taken to using our recycling and trash bins rather than his own.  Our recycling bin is always full, and if it’s bursting, the City won’t pick it up.  We are good lil’ recyclers…  His recycling/trash should be included in his rent, but he’s obviously too lazy or too cheap. Wow, rolling a bin to the end of the driveway is such a total drag. He may even break his ego. OH NOES! So anyway, he’s assuming that WE are to pay for his own recycling and trash.  Sorry dude.  (Oh, and did I mention he’s driving a high-end car?  Beauty – think I’ll go key it before he leaves… BAD SHEILA! BAD!!!) Anyway, I caught him in the act tonight, muwahaha, stuffing up our recycling bin with his stuff, so I took all of the items out and handed them back to him while he was in the process of filling up our (and my neighbor’s) bins with his crap.  He started protesting but I let him know that if he kept it up, we’d just leave it on the front porch of where he’s staying.  Luckily, he doesn’t have a dog with him, otherwise he’d also be a recipient of the famous “flaming bag of poo.” Whee!

I guess all I can say at this point is what is WRONG with some people?  I wish karma was instantaneous.  I think Mr. Lennon had it right.

Posted by: Nice Melons | March 8, 2011

I started another blog. Am I nuts?

Check it out.

Posted by: Nice Melons | January 27, 2011

So, anyway…

Welp, here I am.  Just had a birthday on January 25.  I laughed because I went to the grocery store for wine – made some fondue – and I was carded because “we have to card everyone who looks under 35.”  That’s it – I’m officially going to start lying about my age.   HA!!!!  HAHAHAHAHA!  *Aneurysm*

So.  I am still unemployed in terms of the “norm.”  I’ve been away from Schwab for three months (it’s official) and boy, am I happy to be that.  I loved working at Schwab, but my manager, well… she needs to go away.  She is a terrible human being.  It took me a while to own up to that, but really… she needs to leave the work force.  She is a horrible manager and person and I am glad to be rid of her.  More on that later.  There is litigation, and although I am not a lawyer-type suckup, I had to go there because she screwed me so badly.  All I can say is that what goes around, comes around.  I just wish that Karma was instantaneous, because I would be a millionaire.  Then I could pay off my friends and family’s mortgages and still have lots of $$$ left over for that Mercedes gullwing that I crave.  Gotta be silver with the red interior, though.  You know it’s cool if it’s the “safety” car for Formula 1.  La la la la! 

In any case, it’s time for beddy-bye.  Got to get that beauty sleep.  In fact, I think I’ll be Rip Van Winkle and sleep for a while because I need some catch-up.  Laters, my peeps!

Posted by: Nice Melons | December 25, 2010

I wish may, I wish I might.

Well, here I am.  Another Christmas done in about 2o minutes, and another year soon to close behind me.

I am working on a poem that I will post later.  It is hard to share.  It is also long and annoying, I’m sure…

Things are not so great right now.  I have been very sad.  The holidays, well, they have been here.  I am kind of skating around the edges.  I miss my Dad.  I miss my loved ones who are not with me.  A lot of times, I seem to miss myself.  I just don’t know what happened and and how I lost me.  I am trying to find that person again.  I am just going through the phase where I feel like a shell of the person I used to be and trying to get that right again.  I just don’t feel like I’m doing anything right.  Or even close to it.

Sorry to be a downer.  I’m just glad to have a blog.  Not many will see this; the few that will are going to care enough to send me a message to keep my chin up.  I am trying, my peeps.  It is so hard and so, well, unfathomable to me to do so right now.  This Christmas has been so very hard and so sad.  I don’t know what is wrong.  There are just so many people that are gone from my life now that it is hard to cope.

I am grateful for what I have left.  I love my pets.  They are a blessing.  I sound like the crazy cat lady but who give a shit?

I am just sad. Sorry all.

Posted by: Nice Melons | November 22, 2010

Christmas is coming…

… and nothing would please me more at this point if someone:

  • Shot me
  • Converted me to Judaism
  • Helped me depart the planet, preferably in a modified  DeLorean
  • Fed me Ding Dongs until I didn’t care anymore

That is all.  Except fuck you Walgreens, WalMart, Target, and every other retailer that started clouding my unemployed psyche before Halloween.  I’m just sayin’.

Posted by: Nice Melons | November 21, 2010

OMG! Yogabeans FTW.

Even though this is in my favorites or whatever, I had to link.

I think I nearly wet my pants after the Star Trek installment.  TMI.  Beam me up, indeed!

Posted by: Nice Melons | November 18, 2010

I think I’ve got to kill my neighbor

… he likes to work out of his garage.  He’s not supposed to.

Unfortunately, he cuts tile… at 4:30 AM.  Anyone who has heard a tile-saw can feel my pain.  He must stop, or I will get him.

Posted by: Nice Melons | November 18, 2010

This is probably one of the funniest cat videos EVAH!

Posted by: Nice Melons | November 18, 2010

What a craptastic interview!

Soooo… I went to interview with APL yesterday.  Not only did I get the WRONG ADDRESS 3 times from them, but I managed to find the place anyway 30 minutes BEFORE my interview and was kept waiting for 20 minutes past my appointment time.

Then the interviewer stated that “time was short” and ushered me out the door 10 minutes after I sat down to talk to him.

Bullshit.

No wonder the position has been open so long.  DO NOT WANT.

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